Friday, April 5, 2013

Diane and Amy: A Mother-Daughter One-Sided Love Story For The Ages by Robyn Scott

Diane, an overly admiring mother, writes about her seemingly perfect daughter, Amy. 

Amy Had A Great Spring Break! 

Diane here! Hope everyone had a great Spring Break a few weeks ago -I know I did! My Spring Break consisted mostly of me driving Amy around. But like, I totally didn’t mind because she’s perfect and I love her. So instead of telling all my readers more about that minor earthquake last Thursday, I will describe Amy’s Spring Break. 

Monday: Amy didn’t wake up until around 12:00pm, which I really supported, because she works really hard in everything she does, and totally deserves to sleep in. After she ate her gluten-free-everything breakfast (because she’s super sensitive to all that) I suggested that we go get mani-pedis together, like a fun mother-daughter outing. She then informed me that she already had a full day planned with her BFFs, and I completely understood, because I was young once too, and it’s important to have strong friendships. Amy’s wise beyond her years.

Tuesday: Amy-Pie woke up at around 8:00am, and I felt really proud to be the mother of a daughter who was so good with time management. Tuesday, she had informed by prior, was her workout day with Jeff, her boyfriend, who Phil and I just adore. A real upstanding fellow that Jeff.  They met at the park for a run, core exercise, swimming, yoga, zumba, then pilates. She’s so healthy with her lifestyle. (Except like, afterwords all she could do was talk about how awesome she was for working out, and I’m all thanks for making me feel like I never do anything for my well being). 

Wednesday: She let me hang out with her, FINALLY! Talk about exciting, Phil and I had the whole day planned out. First we’d go to the zoo, followed by a bike ride in the country, then a walk in the park, and lastly we’d go for ice-cream. However Amy wasn’t too keen on the plan, and suggested that we just take her shopping instead. To be honest, Phil and mine’s feelings were a little hurt, but when we thought about it, we concluded that Amy putting her own interests first just meant that she’ll be really successful in business and could possibly get a career in politics. And we totally wanted to support that.

Thursday: Amy went hiking with a group of her friends, and Jeff. They got like, REALLY into it all. They took pictures of them scaling down the side of a mountain! Her father and I were just like, WOAH. And the great thing about Amy, is pretty much all of her friends worship her very existence. So like, there were PLENTY of pictures of her, and as a mother it’s really important to make sure she can capture those memories. She’s so amazing.

Friday: Amy woke up in a terrific mood, lucky for us! She spent most of the day watching TV her father and me. She was like, SO sweet and paid us some really genuine compliments throughout the whole day. That evening she told us that she was planning on going to a club downtown with some girlfriends. Phil and I were pretty uneasy about the situation, and we told her she couldn’t go. She then informed us that we we’re being terribly unfair, and that we had no clue what we were saying (which truly, she had a point, because Phil and I rarely know what we mean when we say words). After she told us all this, we decided to let her go. The fact that she was speaking her mind definitely earned her some trust-points. I assume she had a great time out that night, but I don’t know for sure, because she barely mentioned it again.

Saturday: Most of Saturday was full of homework. Amy is a straight A student, and we’re like totally proud of her for that, and she’s probably smarter than both Phil and I. I just wish I could be her for like, a day. That night was just a regular ol’ Amy casual kind of night - she went to a rock concert, but that’s just her life, so no biggie. 

Sunday: Sunday we went to church with the Mayor and her family, they are such hoots! Everyone always comments about the Mayor and Amy’s uncanny resemblance, which I take as a good omen. After that Jeff came over and the two of them did homework while Phil and I caught up on some Downton Abbey.

We were all sad to see the week over, but all good things must come to an end - Amy being the exception, because there’s always something new with her. Overall, it was a successful Spring Break, and I think everyone knows who we have to thank for that.

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