Friday, March 22, 2013

It Took Courage to Sit Through "Brave" by Jonathan Russell

Yes, I know that I've already written about one Pixar movie. However, I find great pleasure in writing about things I despise, and Brave is one of those.

Brave is by far the most unoriginal Pixar movie ever made. Cars was bad, yes. But at least it had some unique ideas. I've said from the beginning that Brave is just Pixar’s answer for How to Train Your Dragon (which I loved). And when a movie is designed specifically to counter a different one, good things rarely happen. Brave’s whole aesthetic is eerily similar to Dragon’s: Scottish Viking-esque settings with obnoxious preteen protagonists. Really, the resemblance is nauseating. That, however, is not what concerns me most. Disney seems to think that it’s really good at writing females, and I’m sure a certain co-blogger of mine would concur. Granted, Disney is certainly no Aaron Sorkin.  In fact, they have run too far in the opposite direction. What they did with Merida is understandable; a strong, beautiful, independent, young woman who just wants adventure and excitement, not marriage. Because we've never seen that before!

(Oh, wait....)

Merida’s entire character is a rehashing of old ideas. Actually... She does have that unique, distinguishable hair. It’s kind of her trademark, I suppose. We haven’t ever seen anything like that...


All of these points I've brought up may just be my nitpicking shining forth, I’ll give you that. But I’ve got one more trick up my sleeve. I’m going to walk you through a mere 15 minutes of the movie. Shout if you see something familiar.

“An angry mob forms. They believe their land is being razed by a hideous beast!"                                                                
(But I thought we were talking about Brave!)

“This is no everyday beast. This is a vicious fiend of enormous size and strength!”

(Even their fangs look the same...)

“Alas! The beast’s only friend and supporter is locked away, unable to help!”

 (Oh, dear.)

If that didn't convince you, I don’t know what will.

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