Oh Great, an Article About Sarcasm! By Anita Durairaj

According to Merriam-Webster, sarcasm is defined as: "A mode of satirical wit depending for its effect on bitter, caustic, and often ironic language that is usually directed against an individual". I have often questioned the effects of sarcastic remarks thrown around by people I know. From the Greek and Latin for "to tear flesh," sarcasm, I concluded, should be reserved for smart-alecks and is best avoided. Or so I thought.

Surprisingly, research shows that sarcasm actually can have mental benefits. “Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit but the highest form of intelligence,” wrote that connoisseur of wit, Oscar Wilde. The Science of Sarcasm? Yeah, Right! Actually, research done by Francesca Gino of Harvard Business School, Adam Galinsky, the Vikram S. Pandit Professor of Business at Columbia Business School, and Li Huang of INSEAD, the European business school, have shown that sarcasm can exercise the brain in various ways. "To create or decode sarcasm, both the expressers and recipients of sarcasm need to overcome the contradiction between the literal and actual meanings of the sarcastic expressions. This is a process that activates and is facilitated by abstraction, which in turn promotes creative thinking", says Gino. Simply put, sarcasm has the ability to stimulate creativity in everyone. 

Of course, sarcastic remarks have a tendency to lead to misunderstanding, but this is true mostly for conversations between people who don't know each other that well. Galinsky stated: “While most previous research seems to suggest that sarcasm is detrimental to effective communication because it is perceived to be more contemptuous than sincerity, we found that, unlike sarcasm between parties who distrust each other, sarcasm between individuals who share a trusting relationship does not generate more contempt than sincerity." 

Sarcasm also exercises the brain more than sincerity does. Your brain has to work harder to make a sarcastic remark that it does to make a sincere one. Also, detecting sarcasm in a remark is good for  he development of our brains. "Sarcasm detection is an essential skill if one is going to function in a modern society dripping with irony. Our culture in particular is permeated with sarcasm,” says Katherine Rankin, a neuropsychologist at the University of California at San Francisco. “People who don’t understand sarcasm are immediately noticed. They’re not getting it. They’re not socially adept". 

If you break a glass and your bother says, "Nice one," a theory of mind allows you to know that your brother means the opposite. This sarcastic remark becomes somewhat of a true lie. It's supposed to be funny and mean at the same time. Some researchers have found that using sarcasm as a gentler form of an insult could work the opposite way. For example, if a kid comes in sloppily dressed his mother could say, "Nice to see the effort you took to look good today", rather than "You look terrible". It tones down the criticism with humor. 

Further research still has to be done on this topic, but it is clear that sarcasm should not be prohibited. So go ahead, be sarcastic. 

(Palpatine meme, www.quickmeme.com) 

Sources: "The Surprising Benefits of Sarcasm" by Francesa Gino, Scientific AmericanHarvard Gazette, "Go ahead, be sarcastic" by Christina Pazzanese, Harvard Gazette, and "The Science of Sarcasm? Yeah, Right" by Richard Chin, Smithsonian. 

Come to the Dance

From the people who didn't bring you the last Spring Ball comes a new, casual dance to take its place. The dance takes place on March 12th from 7:00 to 11:00 PM. You can dress semi formally, however the theme this year is "westernish". Taking into account that westernish isn't even a word, I can only speculate on what that would look like, but if I had to guess it would be boots, blue jeans, things of that nature. The dance is taking place at the Bulverde Spring Branch activity center, 30280 Cougar Bend. Tickets can be purchased for 15 dollars from Christina Barron or Caleb Wright, or at the door when you get there. If you're not going to come for the dance, come for the food and games, or just to hang out with your friends. We hope to see you there.

Keep Droning On by Clayton Davis

Small portable objects that can be flown through the air for miles. No, I’m not talking about the world’s most amazing paper airplane, I’m talking about drones. Drones are small objects, typically a bit bigger than a basketball, that can be controlled from the ground and flown miles away from the controller.

The company DJI is one of the biggest names in civilian accessible drone technology, if not number one. DJI is a Chinese company, founded in 2006 by Frank Wang. They manufacture a variety of products, of which their flying cameras (the “Inspire” and “Phantom” series are the most popular. They also produce flying platforms, controllers, and camera gimbels, and ground stations. Upon reaching their 10^th anniversary this year, DJI celebrated by coming out with some notable sale prices as a way to thank their fans and consumers, namely on their Phantom drones.

Among the wide variety of products sold by DJI, perhaps the most commonly known one is the “Phantom” series quadcopter drone. This drone comes equipped with four individual propellers and a camera with wifi capabilities, so that you can see what the drone sees by using an app on your smartphone or tablet. The Phantom drone is widely popular for those who want to take videos or pictures from an aerial perspective. Since the drone can be flown miles away from the controller, some amazing photos and videos can be taken with the it.

To some people, drones seem like immensely dangerous items, since they can be flown large distances away from the user. However, many restrictions and laws are in place to avoid circumstances that could potentially be dangerous. The American Federal Aviation Administration proposed numerous laws and regulations to safeguard civilians from reckless drone pilots looking to cause trouble and ensure proper operation of the unmanned flying vehicles. In 2015, the regulations suggested by the AFAA were passed and put into effect throughout the nation. Even with these laws, when flying drones in public places it is most likely in your best interest if you ask the owner of the property for permission before taking a drone out on a flight. Knowing the rules pertaining to the flight zone is imperative when flying a drone. There are many no flying zones, such as political events, professional sports games, and most other large events.

                                                                                                                                         Click here to find out more about drones or purchase your own!

A Popular Movie Trend by Amy Yarbrough

       It seems as if the movie industry keeps running out of ideas, so they make movie adaptions of books instead. Movie adaptions aren't a bad thing, but they never seem to do justice to the details you get from reading. Once a good original concept is made popular, you can almost guarantee that the rest of the movies will be similar concepts for the time being. 

One of the most popular genres in America is the Dystopian Future. The media is obsessed with the idea of some horrible society oppressing the people. Be it movies, books, or tv shows. The people reading or watching these stories sympathize with the protagonists, and disagree with the villain. People have always had a knack for envisioning horrible futures for the state of mankind. One could argue that these stories kind of reflect certain fears of people. 

The scenarios for these futures will vary from oppressive governments to some forms of plague. For example, “The Hunger Games” is a story about a corrupt president who separates the people of the nation into groups, and has the morbid hunger games in order to establish fear and dominance to the people. And the few people who disagree are considered rebels by the people in power. This story was a major kickstart for the entire genre. After it was published, many other various fictional governmental distopias were created. The more books, the more movie adaptions. And people keep reading and watching them. 

         

        Although some may disagree, many people can say that our current government isn't the best it has ever been. Neither is the media for that matter. If you disagree with the majority, or the majority disagrees with you, it is very likely you might be threatened or blacklisted. People have received death threats for merely disagreeing with others. Then these same people who judge people for not agreeing with them on certain subjects, go and rave about how horrible the oppressive people in these stories are. It’s kind of strange how many comparisons you could make between some fiction and some reality. Writers tend to project the fears of people into their stories, and for some reason, that’s what we like. As far as governments go, people are perhaps so afraid of being oppressed that they do it to others themselves. 

        The other type of distopia is usually caused by sickness. What happens every flue season? There’s something new everyone freaks out about. You hear “this type of flue will kill you.” or “I’m not going shopping because ebola!” People are terrified that anything will be the next black death. How is this about the distopian genre? Zombies. America is obsessed with zombies. There are stupid movies, there are serious movies, there are tv shows. Zombies are everywhere. They are the most popular form of fictional plague. If you’ve heard of the recent Pride and Prejudice and Zombies movie, you know that if you ever run out of ideas, you can just slap zombies in someone else's story. How likely is an actual zombie apocalypse? Not very! But in the stories, it spreads like wildfire, it wipes out most of the population, and it usually has no cure. People write about it because people are afraid still of it. The idea of the dystopian future has taken off in America. But not very many people realize what their creators inspiration is. 

The Two Major Problems with Our Educational System

by Mickey Forgione

      One of the largest social issues in today's society is good education and access to it. In fact, San Antonio Independent School District, or SAISD, has 38 out of 115 rated middle schools that are rated above 5/10, according to greatschools.org. This is a site where parents can rate schools based on a few different values. Throw in all the mucking and muddling over standardized curricula these past couple years and you have yourself a mess. One of the major problems is standardization itself. We all know that everyone is different and no one learns exactly the same way. So why does standardization exist? The answer to that lies in the fact that in 2015, 50.1 million schoolchildren attended public schools. There is only one department to oversee all of this, and they want everything to be in a nice, clean numerical breakdown because, quite simply, neither the schools nor the department of Education have the resources to educate and grade every student's progress individually.. So, in short, standardizing education is like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole, but it's the best option we currently have.

       Another issue is inequality in pre-schooling education such as language development or reading skills. According to edweek.org, an informative site about our educational system, 22% of all students attending elementary and secondary school live in poverty. By the time they reach kindergarten, these poorer students have only 1/8 of the language and reading development that their peers do. Sadly, there isn't really much we can do about this, except to offer tutoring and refresher courses. Now that you have seen two of the large issues with our education, you are now empowered to inform others.

Trump Loves Adele Too by Caleb Wright

Perhaps two of the most emotionally provocative people in the United States right now are Donald Trump and Adele. It makes sense, then, that the Donald uses Adele music at his rallies -- as AP News reported, "While waiting for Donald Trump to take the stage this week at a campaign rally in Exeter, New Hampshire, fans listened to a few hit songs by Adele, 'Skyfall' and 'Rolling in the Deep.'"

Politicians using music is nothing new -- Rick Perry, when he announced his campaign, used an abominable rap-country song to highlight his conservative values. The difference, though, is that good ol' Rick got permission before he used the song -- one of Adele's spokespeople said that "Adele has not given permission for her music to be used for any political campaigning."

However, the Donald is not violating any copyright rules --  and here lies an interesting schism in copyright law. Music performance and music distribution are treated as entirely separate, meaning that it's possible for me to obtain a license to make a video about Adele, but not perform the song live (and vice versa). The Donald has only been doing performances (meaning, playing from an iPod) of copyrighted music -- which is governed by performing rights groups such as ASCAP and BMI, which have contracts with artists and venues to allow songs to be played live at concert halls, public events... and rallies for the Donald.

Performance rights aren't even (generally) controlled by the artist, and instead are ruled by blanket licenses to venues. Distribution rights, though, are entirely different -- but still allow politicians to use some copyrighted works. While they can't directly distribute the work, they can, under the "Fair Use" doctrine, create parodies -- like the one the now-deceased Mike Huckabee made as a last-ditch effort to revive his campaign (fortunately for your ears, the video was removed by the former Huckabee campaign).

So sorry, Adele, Elton John, and all the other artists Trump and others are ruining. There may not be a lot you can do about it. Unless you wanted to tell Trump hello from the other side. Which I'd be welcome to.

Journalism Bake Sale

On February 8, the Journalism staff will be selling Valentines cookies to assist in funding the yearbook. It's only one dollar for a cookie, or two if you're going to have it personalized. We will be selling many different types, such as Singles Awareness Cookies (for loners), Friendzone cookies (for loners who try too hard), Bae (with a question mark) cookies, BFF cookies, You're Number One cookies, Prom (with a question mark) cookies and at least four other types. (Don't worry, there will be a handy form with a nice list) There will also be an option that allows you to personalize a cookie. Just select 'other' on the form, tell the staff what you want the cookie to say, and tell them who you want to deliver it to.  (It's a fine option for you stalkers out there, or for those of you whose hopes outpace your courage.) All this say, we need your money, and it will go toward a good cause.

How to Read Shakespeare by Anita Durairaj

Many students dread the inevitable studying of Shakespeare. However, while it is true that Shakespeare's dramas are some of the most demanding works encountered by high school students, any student can master Shakespeare with a little perseverance. Below are some steps to successfully read a Shakespeare play:

(1) Get a good plot synopsis. There are many plot summaries available, but many of them are too brief and don't provide you with the detail you want. You should look for a synopsis that includes passages from the actual play in the discussion. Even though you may not understand these discussions at first, when you read the play later you will know exactly what is happening in the story. 

(2) Get Annotated. Like me, You probably have no idea what Hamlet meant by a "bare bodkin". This is, of course, because Shakespeare's plays are over 400 years old. You can get a well-annotated version of the play you are reading. In these versions, obscure phrases are footnoted with explanations of their origins and meanings, so you can understand what Shakespeare is talking about (A "bare bodkin" is a dagger, by the way). Still, in terms of the English, Shakespeare's plays aren't really that complicated to understand. Let me demonstrate by comparing Shakespeare's English to the really Old English of some other works:

Here is a passage from Beowulf, which was written in Old English: 

"baet hine on ylde eft gewunigen

wilgesibas, bonne wig cume,

leode gelaesten; lofdaedum sceal

in maegba gehwaere man gibbon."  

Yep, that's English, not gibberish. And here is a passage from the Canterbury Tales, written in Middle English:

"Whilom, as olde stories tellen us,

Ther was a duc that highte theseus;

Of atthenes he was lord and governour,

And in his tyme swich a conquerour,

That greater was there noon under the sonne."  

Now, here are a few famous lines from Shakespeare's Hamlet:

"To be, or not to be, that is the question:

Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer

The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune

Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,

And by opposing end them." 

So, Shakespeare wrote in what we call Modern English. There isn't a word in his plays that you don't know; the problem is due to his language being poetic. As you continue through his works, head over to your local library and grab an annotated version. Soon, you will get into the rhythm and be able to breeze over the archaic anomalies. 

(3) Start with Reading the Classics. Start your familiarization of Shakespeare with Romeo and Juliet or A Midsummer Night’s Dream. In addition to being two of his best plays, they are also two of his most accessible. It is most probable that you would be reading Shakespeare's most famous, rather than more obscure, plays for school anyway. 

(4) Get a Resource to Help you with Shakespeare's Words. Use an online resource that has a full glossary of Shakespeare words you can refer to as you're reading. Such resources are extremely helpful. To see a good example of such a resource Click Here

(5) If for no other reason, then for the curses. For those who need an incentive, Shakespeare's plays contain a library full of "curses" that will give you a chance to improve on your creative turns of phrase. Study Shakespeare's plays and learn all of his insults. Change "Stop iiiittttt!" into “Methink’st thou art a general offense and every man should beat thee!"(All's Well that Ends Well). That is sure to end the argument in your favor. 

(6) See the Play. Simply reading Shakespeare's plays, although rewarding, is an incomplete experience. The real radiance of his works comes through when you see able actors performing it. Not only  does it make the play enjoyable, you will get an even better understanding of the play after watching it. 

In the words of Shakespeare himself: "Courage and comfort, all shall yet go well" (King John). Enjoy Shakespeare!



*Sources used were "How to Enjoy Reading Shakespeare" by Joseph Smigelski from the  Huffington Post, "How to Read a Shakespeare Play" from enotes.com and "Five Steps to Success Reading a Shakespeare Play" from shakespeare-online.com 

The Biggest Scam in America?

That’s right, I consider it to be the biggest scam in America. It’s the greatest (and possibly only) brainchild of the U.S. Government. It’s so messed up that people actually give their money to the government. It’s so insane that the word unethical wouldn’t begin to describe it. It’s the Powerball lottery.

Sure, the winners wouldn’t describe it that way. And this year had an especially delightful draw with the total sum of the Powerball lottery reaching 1.6 billion dollars. It made headlines. It made more people more excited, they paid more of their hard-earned money, the value increased and that is how the number 1.6 billion came about.

I want to begin my explanation of why the Powerball lottery is the greatest scam in America with this simple but powerful rule in gambling: the house always wins. So if your one of the people who beat the odds of 1-292 million of winning anything in the lottery, then congrats to you. But sorry, even if you won the jackpot, the government still gets to keep most of the money (which doesn’t really matter to you since you get a few hundred million to do whatever you want). So how does Uncle Sam get a majority of the lottery money? Taxes. If you take the cash out option, the government will keep up to 40 percent of the money and give you the rest. Then that prize money becomes taxable, and of course you’re now a millionaire so you are in the top tax bracket, 39.6 percent. So the government takes that 39.6 percent of your money and your finally free to do whatever you want with it. Oh, I forgot, you also have to pay the state local taxes if you live in one of the 44 states that collect it, which is anywhere between 3 and 9 percent. So not bad. And finally the money is all yours…unless you want to give some money to your friends of family. Then there’s the lovely gift tax waiting for you.

The other option of collecting you prize money is through annual payments over 29 years. In this case you will actually end up with a greater share of the total lottery, as the government invests the money and gives you bigger payouts out of the profits. Of course, every payout you receive is taxable at the 39.6 percent tax rate, but at the end of the day (or more like 30th year) you will have received a bigger chunk of the lottery as compared to the cash out option. Unless of course you die. Then the annual payouts become a part of your estate, which is inherited by whoever is on the will. But then you have to pay a federal estate tax, which could be upwards of a $100 million based on the totally sum of the annual payouts you have been receiving. And remember, your annual payouts (at least for this year, which is the highest jackpot ever) are around $22 million. So how do you think your poor family is going to pay that estate tax? Please don’t put any loved ones on that will if they don’t have a LOT of money to pay the estate tax on your annuity from the lottery.

That aside, lets talk about the morality of the Powerball lottery. The government tries to undermine their own genius by using the money to fund state education, environmental protection, and other supposedly important programs. But...what money? About 60 percent of the money is reserved for potential winners, retailers get 5-6% commission, and another 9 percent goes toward advertising and administrative costs. So we are left with a fraction of the total sum which is then divided between all the programs. Here’s what abcnews has to say about the matter: “The lottery money does go to the intended cause. However, instead of adding to the funds for those programs, legislators factor in the lottery revenue and allocate less government money to the program budgets…Given a few years, a state would have spent more on education without a lottery…says one lottery critic, Patrick Pierce, a political scientist at St. Mary's College in Indiana, who has analyzed the impact of lotteries.”

If the government really wanted to spend more money or raise more money for education or environmental protection or what not, then let them simply tax the people! Using gambling to pay instead? “Critics argue that, aside from being an inefficient way to raise money, paying for government services with lottery sales also shifts a larger portion of the overall tax burden to those who can least afford it. It’s a very regressive tax," said Lucy Dadayan, a senior policy analyst at the Rockefeller Institute of Government. “And any time a government relies on a regressive tax it's not the best policy option. But it’s easier for state officials to promote gambling rather than to increase income taxes or sales taxes-NBCNews.”

And this leads me to my final point: the Powerball lottery is just a tax system to make the lowest income people in the U.S. (who pay the lowest taxes) give more than their fair share of taxes to the government. According to Business Insider: “The people who can least afford it are throwing away on average 47 cents on the dollar every time they buy a ticket. And the government, which relies increasingly on the lottery for funding, goes out of its way to tell them it is a good idea.” The Powerball lottery gives poor people a false hope that they will win something big, and then lets those people give them money to do whatever it is they want to do with it. The sad truth is that most families and individuals in the United States who participate in the Powerball lottery are financially uneducated, and the government preys on those people in the hopes of making a fat profit. I believe the Powerball lottery is an unnecessary evil and something the world would be a better place without. Get rid of the Powerball lottery, teach underprivileged people how to save and grow money, and we will have a much better economy, I can guarantee you that.

Gun Control by Clayton Davis

Most Americans love guns, plain and simple. This is especially true in the south. The large group of people that don't fantasize about everyone owning a gun however, often try to get stricter gun control laws passed. One such law that is widely implemented are gun free zones. As everyone knows, creating a zone where you can't carry a gun will OBVIOUSLY stop a criminal, who was planning on shooting someone (which, big shocker, is illegal), from carrying out said plan. Even the most hardened of criminals will stop and turn around when they see that people don't want them to carry a gun in a certain area. Some people are okay with killing another human, but breaking the law by bringing a weapon into a gun free zone? Heavens no.

Another idea that some anti-gun people believe will magically fix gun violence, is restricting the sale of guns to regular citizens. They believe that, even in the hands of law-abiding citizens, a citizen owning a gun is a recipe for disaster. That no matter who is in possession of it, the gun is what kills the person. There’s no way that the gun is merely a tool and you have to willfully point it at someone and pull the trigger for it to kill someone. No, people definitely don’t kill people, guns do. Also, spoons made my cousin obese.

Some people have the opposite idea when it comes to fixing gun violence within certain areas or zones. One such example commonly noted when discussing this idea, is at schools. Schools are widely known as gun free zones, so the idea of having the security guards at them armed with a handgun is slightly odd for most people. Especially for the people whose children attend said school, who most likely prefer not to think about their kids needing to be defended with firearms. Although, who knows. Maybe there are some parents who do enjoy thinking about having armed guards at their children’s school as they drink their morning coffee. The notion of having security guards with handguns, as well as signs that say “area patrolled by armed guards”, has been tossed around by some of the citizens who are less than supportive of gun control. While this may have a *slight* oppressive nature, it most certainly is an… interesting… idea.

Concealed or open carry is quite popular among pro-gun people, but many anti-gun citizens are simply horrified by the idea. An anti-gun supporter will most likely never consider the good that an openly carried handgun would be able to do. No, instead having the ability to quickly end a conflict, or even prevent it from occurring, openly carrying a handgun is absolutely begging for someone to come steal it and use it to commit a heinous crime. There’s “absolutely no way” that openly carrying a handgun, or being able to quickly draw a concealed handgun, will quickly end a crime. It’s not even possible that a criminal that intended to commit a crime, such as robbing a store, will change his mind when seeing that the establishment is full of customers armed with handguns that would potentially be able to prevent him or her from breaking the law and harming someone. There’s no way that anything like that has ever happened before. Definitely not terrorists being shot nearly immediately at a “Draw Mohammed Cartoon Contest” in Texas. Purely imaginative, absolutely no way that anything like that could or would happen. Oh wait…