1. Chuck Norris is the reason that Waldo is hiding
2. Chuck Norris was in all the Star Wars movies. He was the force.
3. Chuck Norris calls Voldemort by his real name.
4. When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he is pushing the earth down.
5. Chuck Norris can hear Sign Language.
6. Chuck Norris is the only person who can punch a Cyclops between the eyes.
7. Chuck Norris was born when someone divided by zero. It has not happened since.
8. Chuck Norris refers to himself in the fourth person.
9. The only time Chuck Norris was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.
10. The Greeks named a hurricane named Chuck Norris: We are still looking for Atlantis.
11. Benjamin Franklin invented Daylight Savings, but Chuck Norris invented Daylight.
12. Chuck Norris is never late, nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to.
13. Identity some times has a Chuck Norris crisis.
14. The only one who can kill Chuck Norris is his future self, but he is usually to busy keeping the apocalypse at bay.
15. Chuck Norris does not have a watch, because he invented time.
16. The only one better at winking than Sydney Quanz is Chuck Norris.
17. Chuck Norris' wink is so powerful that when he winks at the sun, it blushes and hides for 12 hours, a phenomenon we refer to as night.
18. Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
19. Chuck Norris never takes test, because no one questions Chuck Norris.
20. Chuck Norris dated Hurricane Katrina. He broke up with her cause she was too tame.
21. Chuck Norris has been dead for 50 years, but Death is too afraid to tell him.
22. Chuck Norris has no friends or enemies, because he needs no friends and all his enemies are dead.
23. Chuck Norris took the SAT once; the test failed him.
24. Chuck Norris does not apply to college; Colleges apply to him.
25. Chuck Norris is the "X" in Calculus. He can never be found.
26. Chuck Norris can predict the Texas weather.
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